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Many things can prevent a Rhode Island Divorce Case from settling.  In fact, while I cannot speak for all attorneys in other states I tend to believe that people and attorneys do not differ that much from state to state.  With that in mind, these may be the top two things that prevent divorces from settling on a national basis.

In my Rhode Island divorce practice, experience has taught me that "anger" is the second greatest contributor to the inability of parties, with or without attorneys, to reach a reasonable settlement in a divorce.

While divorce often evokes a plethora of emotions in one or both parties in a marriage, none seem as prominent or as powerful to delay and prolong the resolution of the divorce as "anger."  The anger may stem from any number of things ranging from a suddenly discovered long-term affair to a drug or gambling addiction and more.   As a divorce attorney I leave the treatment of a parties' anger to psychologists and therapists better equipped to address and treat its source and help divorcing parties deal with their mental and emotional dilemmas.

However, there is no doubt that as a divorce lawyer, I (and my colleagues) deal with the effects that the anger of either party has on the divorce proceeding.  These effects range from emotion filled meetings with angry clients who feel cheated and betrayed by their spouse to the vindictive decisions or actions of an opposing spouse with an outright desire to injure the other spouse emotionally or even physically.  

Divorce settlements are often prevented by the anger of one spouse at the other spouse.  Usually this takes the form of one or both spouses making demands in the settlement of their marriage that in some way justify the party's feelings or otherwise vindicate the spouse in some way by gaining more in the way of an apportionment of assets or less in the way of an assignment of marital debt.  Simply put this becomes a matter of getting something that makes the spouse feel that he or she "won" in some way over the other spouse.

In truth, there are no real winners in such a situation.  The anger merely costs the parties more physical, mental and emotional turmoil than is necessary and the attorneys make more money while the parties have less money in the end for their own needs.  

Even if one party views the divorce trial or settlement as a "win", it is merely an illusion.  No one wins in a divorce.  The only way to truly win is to resolve the issues you have at present and move on to a new and different future without the other person as your spouse.

Few things are as helpful to Rhode Island Divorce Coaching clients as a good story. 

In Bridget's case, it wasn't until Bridge received some Post Divorce Coaching that Bridget discovered that all lawyers are not equally skilled or knowledgeable and that with a little bit of valuable coaching information from an experienced Rhode Island divorce lawyer she was able to accomplish on her own for only $200 what her divorce lawyer had failed to do after being paid more than $5,000.

Though Bridget's Rhode Island divorce story may well be a matter of public record, the names have been changed to preserve her privacy and peace of mind as well as to protect any existing confidentiality through attorney/client privilege that may exist.

Bridget's divorce was finalized about 1 ½ years ago.  Bridget's husband had been arrested during the divorce proceeding on some rather serious drug charges and was sentenced to a period of incarceration.

Only two assets of significance existed in this Rhode Island divorce proceeding.  A retirement account accumulated by bridget's husband and the house they resided in.  Bridget's husband worked in Rhode Island and was the primary financial provider for the home.

Without going into detail, Bridget's husband, who apparently had fried a few too many brain cells on his own use of illegal drugs was resistant to any divorce and kept having himself brought into court using a Habeas Corpus to attend court from his incarceration to oppose Bridget and her lawyer.  Finally, after numerous court appearances, Bridget's husband settled with her when he realized that the court was of the clear opinion that it was his drug use and dealing that had caused the breakdown of their marriage.

Bridget would get half of her husband's retirement account and her husband would sign over his rights in the house they owned to Bridget.

The divorce was finalized and Bridget received half of her husband's retirement account.  However, when it came to deeding over his rights to their home to Bridget, he refused.  Bridget tried to take her husband back to court and force him to sign the deed per their settlement agreement. 

The Rhode Island Family Court entered an order requiring Bridget's husband to sign over his interests in the house to Bridget.  Bridget's husband still refused.  Bridget's divorce attorney tried to bring Bridget's husband into court yet again. Unfortunately, before the next court hearing could be held, Bridget's husband was granted work release from prison and he escaped. 

Bridget had expended virtually all of the funds at her disposal on her Rhode Island divorce and trying to force her ex-husband to sign the deed giving her the entire house.  Bridget's Rhode Island divorce lawyer asked Bridget for another $1,000 to continue action to try to find her husband and force him to sign the deed.  Bridget could not afford it and the attorney withdrew from representing her in the case.

Bridget was frustrated.  She paid considerable amounts in attorneys' fees and still did she not have the house that she bargained for in the settlement.

Bridget contacted me out of frustration and we met for a single coaching session.  Bridget brought her documents with her including a certified copy of the Final Judgment of Divorce she received from the Rhode Island Family Court and all orders that had been entered by the court since her final judgment.

Bridget explained that she was entitled to have her husband sign a deed to her transferring all right, title and interest to their Coventry, Rhode Island home to her but that she and her former attorney were unsuccessful in forcing her ex-husband to sign the home over to her and now he had evaded authorities and was missing but she desperately needed to refinance the home in her name to be able to get an affordable mortgage, otherwise she would lose the house.

I read the Final Judgment and smiled.  Bridget looked at me rather strangely.  I reminded her that my minimum coaching appointment was for one (1) hour and asked her if she remembered that.  Bridget knodded.

I handed Bridget the certified copy of the Final Judgment of Divorce. 

I told Bridget, "Record this certified Final Judgment from the Rhode Island Family Court in the Land Evidence Records for the Town of Coventry and then go and refinance your house.

Bridget looked puzzled.  I pointed to line 12 of the Final Judgment.

12)   The plaintiff wife is awarded and assigned all interest in the parties' marital home located at 74 Plantation Street in Coventry, Rhode Island.

Then I showed Bridget a copy of the law at Rhode Island General Laws §15-5-16.4 which reads as follows:

15-5-16.4 Judgment assigning real property - Effect.

      Whenever the assignment of real property is ordered by the family court pursuant to § 15-5-16.1 and the court directs that a deed, conveyance, or release of any real estate or interest in real estate shall be made, the judgment shall create an equitable right to its enforcement, subject to the provisions for recording of notice in chapter 13 of title 34, in the party entitled to the assignment by judgment; and if the judgment has not been complied with at the time the judgment of divorce becomes final and the judgment is subsequently recorded in the manner provided for in chapter 13 of title 34, then the judgment shall operate to vest title to the real estate or interest in the real estate in the party entitled to it by the judgment as fully and completely as if the deed, conveyance, or release had been duly executed by the party directed to make it.

Bridget still looked puzzled.

Attorney Pearsall:  My coaching for you is this Bridget.  Your Final Judgment creates an award and assignment of the home and property that you and your husband own at 74 Plantation Street in Coventry, RI to you.   

Under this law, you have a right to enforce this judgment and since you have reached a Final Judgment and your husband has not complied by transferring the deed to you, then you just record your Final Judgment of Divorce in the land records in Coventry and it transfers title of the real estate to you just as if you had filed a deed signed by your ex-husband.

         The best thing you can do Bridget is to stop wasting your money chasing this guy to sign a deed and just record a certified copy of your Final Judgment, show your refinance company the recorded deed and this law and you should be all set.

         The coaching session lasted just under 25 minutes.  Bridget left the coaching session, took the certified copy of the Final Judgment to the Coventry Town Clerk and recorded it.   Bridget was the validly titled owner of the property in about 2 hours as compared to the one year her prior attorney had chased her ex-husband for his signature at a cost of over $2,000 just to get a signature that wasn't needed.

         Bridget refinanced the house and deeded the property back to herself so it was in her own name and title to the property would not be confused.

         General Rule:  If the wording in your Temporary Order of the Court following your divorce (i.e. your Interlocutory Decision Pending Entry of Final Judgment) provides for an award and assignment of real estate from one spouse to another, AND a deed transferring the the property to the correct spouse is not completed by the time the Final Judgment is entered, then recording a certified copy of the Final Judgment of Divorce operates like a deed to transfer the property as intended.

         Does coaching help?  Bridget thought so.

         In the end Bridget expressed disappointment that she hadn't found me a year before so that she could have saved herself a good $2,000 or more simply because her lawyer wasn't aware of this particular law.