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Though there are many who may disagree with my conclusion that "making the wrong choice of divorce lawyer" is certainly not the greatest thing that prevents divorce settlements, I leave those persons to their opinion and remain steadfast in my belief that divorce lawyers are often the greatest impediment to preventing divorce settlements.

Having practiced almost exclusively as a Rhode Island divorce and family law attorney for nearly a decade I have had the opportunity to oppose countless attorneys who have represented the opposing spouse.  From the outset of my practice I noted a distinct pattern and made it a practice to listen more than I spoke, it is this practice and skill that has served me best in my divorce and family law practice.  

I have gained my most valuable knowledge by listening to divorce attorneys I have opposed in court as well as listening to others while walking through the halls of the family courts or waiting to be heard in the courtrooms.

Some Rhode Island divorce lawyers, though certainly not all, do not share my "families first" philosophy.  Clients should keep in mind that there are those attorneys who see clients merely as a paycheck.  If you were a divorce attorney with heavy personal financial burdens or with a substantial desire for increased monetary rewards and you knew that your income was dependent upon the number of clients who hire you each year and how much you earn from those clients, what might you do?

Consider each of these questions and answer them for yourself.

If your divorce case lasts longer, couldn't a divorce attorney justify earning more from your case?

If you are upset about your divorce, couldn't a Rhode Island divorce attorney aggravate what is upsetting you in order to make it more difficult and take longer to set up your case?

If your divorce attorney knows that to make his or her desired income he or she must represent X number of divorce clients each year and make $5,000 on each client, is it more likely or less likely that your divorce attorney will counsel you to agree to a reasonable settlement of your case within the first three weeks of your case?

You may draw your own conclusions.  For my part, virtually every case that I have been unable to reasonably settle within a reasonable period of time before both my client and the opposing spouse are injured by the financial burdens associated with divorce litigation have been prevented by attorneys who have placed their own interests before that of their clients.  Some of those attorneys even have an underhanded pattern of doing so such that I now warn my clients of what we are up against before we proceed further.  Attorneys who act in this way do a disservice to the legal profession and an even greater disservice to their own client.

Rhode Island divorce attorneys who act in this way are a greater prevention to the settlement of divorce cases because emotion is not intentional and can be countered by the reasonableness of a good divorce lawyer who cares about the client and places the client's interests first.  However, the intentional actions of a lawyer with his or her own interests placed before those of the client in every sense (mentally, emotionally, physically or financially), can sometimes not be prevented even by the most skilled opposing practitioner.

Ultimately, if you have significant anger regarding your divorce, it is always advisable to seek the assistance of a counselor even if you do not believe your anger is affecting your judgment.  Often, anger does, in fact, affect judgment in divorce cases to a person's detriment.  

Additionally, be aware of what your attorney is doing in your case and remain active in your communications with your attorney.  Most cases are capable of being resolved within three (3) months if the parties and attorneys act in a reasonable manner.  If it takes longer than this, speak with your attorney, speak with your spouse and if necessary, speak with your individual counselor.  You may discover that what you think is happening in your divorce case as represented by your attorney is much different than what is actually occurring.

In any divorce, be aware of your emotional state and be aware of your case and your divorce attorney's conduct.  In the end, both will serve you well in resolving your Rhode Island divorce case.