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A Lawyer who hates Lawyers? What is this Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer saying?

By Rhode Island Divorce Coach on July 6, 2010 7:42 PM | 0 Comments | 0 TrackBacks

As a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice mostly on divorce coaching these days I look back upon a man who said something to me privately decades ago that perplexed me. This man had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years.

This man was about as true, honorable and generous a gentleman as I have ever met. He embodied everything that I saw in a good lawyer. He truly cared about his clients. He fought for each one of them. Yet he did so within the bounds of the law, within the bounds of his professional ethical code, and with a high degree of morality such as I have never seen before. The lawyer knew that I admired him and had great respect for him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot Tuesday afternoon this rather portly lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing. He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in the office law library. His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room. There was silence. It seemed to go on forever. Finally, I said, "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

It lasted perhaps two seconds but it seemed like an eternity. The lawyer lifted his partially balding forehead, wiped his brow with the napkin then grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his small law library. The book smashed against a row of New Hampshire Statutes Annotated. I heard the spine of the hardcover book tear slightly as it fell to the floor.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so angry and upset.

I was quiet. Perhaps my timing was off. This time I kept my big mouth shut and waited until the lawyer spoke. This is what he said.

Lawyer: [Very Loudly though not Shouting] "I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless and it seemed very clear the lawyer wasn't going to say anything else. So, I took a chance. I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris: "I don't understand. You are a lawyer."

He was quiet for another period of time. I took a chance and asked my question.

Chris: "How can you hate lawyers when you are one? I don't get it."

He waited quite awhile before speaking. I was thankful that there wasn't another hardcover book within the lawyer's reach.

Lawyer: [ A bit calmer . . ] I can't explain it. You have to live it. But I tell you Chris, if you're anything like me you'll know what I mean when you get there.

That was it. The conversation never went further. It was never brought up again to this date.

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years after that conversation.

As a Rhode Island lawyer I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct and Rules of Conduct. To some extent there are things that I can say and things, things I shouldn't say and things I am prohibited either from saying or doing. Some of them might amaze the layperson. I know they amaze me. Morality and Personal Professional Ethics are another ball of wax that are completely different.

The lawyer's name (for lack of a better one just as a point of reference) was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

So after all the years that have passed I would like to address one statement to this great lawyer and then another one to you as my reader.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I went down the path. Just as you thought, I was very much like you. Thank you for your wisdom. Just as you thought, I understand.

Now, to my readers I offer this.

If you have read my message to Roger then you may not understand the statement I make now until you meet with me.

"If you need a lawyer and you happen to like lawyers then chances are . . you won't like me."

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I can't make your problems go away. They are your problems and only you can take responsibility for them and only you have the power to resolve them in your life by your own decisions.

What I can tell you is that I can help you understand and to get through your Rhode Island divorce and family law challenges by working with you as your Coach or by working for you through Representation.

Roger's words were invaluable. Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your coaching program. It is a your program specifically because it is designed for you. It is designed to teach you, train you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical than it already is for you, become more helpful than it already is for everyone.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference with a new and innovative way of practice designed by my sacrifices and your willingness to be open to something new that works.

What can Your Coaching Program Help You With?

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations

Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modification, Collection and Termination

Rhode Island Child Custody and Child Custody Modifications

Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital or Property Settlement Agreements

Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements

Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children

Rhode Island Motions to Modify Child Support

Petitions to Establish Paternity

Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of Contempt

Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions

Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation

RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense

Rhode Island Legal Rights

2nd Opinions on Rhode Island Family Law Cases

and many more . . .

Look for my testimonials section coming soon! Call for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Go to RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Copyright 2009 to Present. Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
Offering Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* Rhode Island licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.

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A RI Child Support Attorney Responds to a Child Support and Health Insurance Question

By Rhode Island Divorce Coach on December 8, 2009 4:12 PM | 0 Comments | 0 TrackBacks

Question:

If you are getting a divorce in Rhode Island, and you will be paying child support. Do you have to pay child support for a family plan for your ex wife and a child that is not yours. (and you have offered to have your children on your plan)

*So 4 people on the plan

1 is the ex

1 is the daughter of her ex.

2 are your children.

the ex has refused to let you do this so that her plan is covered can she do this? Also, can she refuse to let you have ANY rates to have your children to see tehm if you are paying child support?

Answer:

Part of your question is somewhat confusing so I will try to be clear based upon what I believe you are asking. You should be aware that paying for a health insurance plan is not child support.

If you go to trial and the court orders you to pay for a family health insurance plan that covers your ex-spouse then it is most likely to be pursuant to the terms of the Rhode Island Insurance Continuation Act which prohibits the insurance carrier you are with from removing your ex-spouse from the health insurance plan simply because you are no longer married.

There are exceptions but there is not enough time or space to address them here. However, unless you adopted your spouse's child, if that child is not your natural (i.e. biological child) then you have an obligation to notify your health insurance carrier about that child so the insurance carrier can determine if that child qualifies under your Family Health Plan. . . there is a good chance that the child may not qualify.

If you do not notify the insurance carrier and you keep the child on if the insurance carrier had a right to know about her status due to your divorce, then you may well be guilty of criminal insurance fraud. If you have been providing the plan and paying for it on your own for your ex-spouse and your children during your marriage, then you may be ordered by the court to continue providing that coverage especially regarding your children.

The court could require you to continue providing insurance coverage for your biological or legally adopted children could be indefinite. The health coverage for your ex-spouse may be limited to the terms under the Rhode Island Insurance Continuation Act and it's exceptions when coverage may be terminated by the Health Insurance Company.

The last paragraph of your question is a bit jumbled and does not seem to fit with the rest of your question.

You may wish to go to your local court's law library and look up the Rhode Island Insurance Continuation Act in the Rhode Island General Laws if this answer is in any way unclear. I hope you fount this helpful to the extent I was able to answer it as posed.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Go to RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Copyright 2009. Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
Offering Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law. There is no procedure for recognition of specialization in any area of law.

- - Recommended Websites - -

The Rhode Island Divorce Coach Answers: Legal Custody . . . will I lose my child?

By Rhode Island Divorce Coach on June 7, 2009 7:17 PM | 0 Comments | 0 TrackBacks

Here is a quick coaching tip for anyone who has received a Motion to Change or Terminate Legal Custody that will be heard before the Rhode Island Family Courts.

First, if you must represent yourself in the Rhode Island Family Court System regarding this motion, make sure you understand the motion itself.

If the motion says "Legal Custody" and NOT "Physical Custody" or "Placement" then unless the motion uses some other words relating to where the child resides, then it deals with the fundamental right you have as a parent to participate in the decision making process for your biological or legally adopted minor children regarding 'major aspects" of the child's life.

These "major aspects" of the child's life have generally been held to include (a) medical care, treatment and anything constituting a reasonably important health-related concern, (b) the religious upbringing of the child, (c) the child's education and schooling, (d) nature and form of discipline for the child, and (d) anything of a reasonably substantial nature affecting the general welfare of the child.

Generally speaking, if no order has been previously been issued by Rhode Island or any other state's court, then as long as there is no dispute as to who the biological parents are, a general presumption is often made (as it should be) by most Rhode Island family court judges, that each parent has an equal say as to the major aspects of the child's legal custody.

When there is disagreement between the parents of the child, then the Court is called upon in a legal custody dispute to hear both sides of the issue and determine what is in the best interests of the minor child. Note that I did not say that the judge rules in favor of one parent or another. The court takes a special interest in protecting the minor child and, if necessary, the judge will fashion a remedy is in the best interests of the child based upon the circumstances and the disagreement of the parents.

In short, if "Legal Custody" and not "Physical Custody" or 'Placement" is the issue, the issue is not whether you will lose your child. The issue will be whether the court will agree with your decision as a legal custodian of your minor child, or whether the judge finds any substantial conditions or circumstances regarding your ability to make proper decisions for your minor child is impaired to such a degree that your right to make decisions for your minor child should be limited or denied entirely.

Generally speaking, it has been my experience in my divorce and family law practice that judges are very hesitant to remove a parent's decision making rights as a legal custodian without substantial just cause. Ultimately, a good rule of thumb I have followed is this. If the court gets the impression that you are unable to make good decisions for yourself, its a safe bet that the judge may not believe you can make good decisions for a minor child.

What might constitute just cause to deny your legal custodial rights? Criminal charges, Alcohol Addiction, Drug Addiction, Domestic Violence, and substantial inability to maintain employment and support your child or participate in your child's life for an extended period of time are just a few.

In the end, know what you are defending against and know what your shortcomings are and how to address them to the court. Be respectful and present yourself in the best light possible. If something in your present or your past doesn't make you look good to the court, try to make sure you get the time to explain to the court how it is unrelated to the decisions for your child or how your experience has helped you learn to make better decisions for your child. An attitude of caring for your child's well-being over your own is always a plus.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Premiere Full-Time Divorce Coach!!

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Rhode Island Divorce Coaching Session!

Copyright 2009. Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
A New Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer for a New Millenium!

* Rhode Island licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.

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A Lawyer who hates Lawyers? What is this Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer saying?

A RI Child Support Attorney Responds to a Child Support and Health Insurance Question

The Rhode Island Divorce Coach Answers: Legal Custody . . . will I lose my child?

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Recently in Divorce & Healthcare Category

A Lawyer who hates Lawyers? What is this Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer saying?

A RI Child Support Attorney Responds to a Child Support and Health Insurance Question

The Rhode Island Divorce Coach Answers: Legal Custody . . . will I lose my child?

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