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Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Coaches People to Help Parties Avoid Divorce Conflict!

By Rhode Island Divorce Coach on August 21, 2011 10:05 AM | 0 Comments | 0 TrackBacks

Not every Rhode Island divorce requires each party, or either party to hire a Rhode Island divorce lawyer to represent them.

I've thought about this divorce concept for more than five (5) years now. Every week I get calls about Rhode Island divorces. Most of the time people are shopping to either free advice or an attorneys' rate for a simple uncontested Rhode Island divorce.

Why is that? It's because money is the big issue with people these days and it doesn't take a Rhode Island lawyer to know that an uncontested divorce is going to cost less than a contested or bitter divorce. So people just use their common sense and ask for the rate for a simple, uncontested divorce even if they really don't understand what it means for a divorce to be truly "uncontested."

But is asking for a Rhode Island lawyer's rate for their divorce as a simple or uncontested divorce just about the money? Possibly not.

Some attorneys in Rhode Island find this kind of phone lawyer shopping offensive. I can understand that. After all, divorces aren't a one size fits all thing. Or at least they shouldn't be. After all, since no two people are EXACTLY alike in the world then it makes sense that now two divorces which involve two people are never EXACTLY alike, right? Isn't it only common sense?

Yet let's remove the Rhode Island divorce cost factor from the picture. Let's assume it doesn't exist at all. What is another reason for asking any question about a simple, uncontested or amicable Rhode Island divorce? Could it be because the person wants to be amicable, or simple, or uncontested? Sure.

So imagine you are an attorney. A person calls you with questions about a simple, amicable, uncontested Rhode Island divorce. If you leave out the cost of the divorce, you might actually have a person on the phone who wants to be amicable and not have a contested divorce. Consider it for a moment.

You are an attorney and you may now have 1/2 of the divorcing couple in a friendly position who wants to be agreeable and resolve the divorce. Is it possible that basically 50% of the job of getting to friendly/nominal divorce hearing is already present? It is absolutely possible. In fact, if the person doesn't have that much money and he or she is attorney shopping for the most affordable lawyer on an amicable Rhode Island divorce, doesn't it make sense that the cost factor is also pushing the person to be amicable and keep the divorce uncontested? It not only makes sense, it is highly probable.

So why do I see our Rhode Island Family Court divorce calendars filled with cases that people aren't resolving by the Friendly Court Hearing Date (aka Nominal Hearing Date)?

I've watched and considered this interesting Rhode Island divorce phenomenon for over a year now. Now while I do represent people with more complicated cases, I coach even more people to manage their own divorces, represent themselves, work out agreements with their own spouses, and even co-parent better.

There are two factors I have identified.

One factor is when one spouse who can't or won't come to terms with a divorce. This could be due to the spouse being unreasonable, mental health issues, or pure bitterness and anger.

The other factor is the involvement of one or more attorneys involved in the case who create conflict in the divorce sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly.

To be sure divorces can be emotional. They are too susceptible of tipping from a simple uncontested divorce to a contested, drawn out divorce. Too much of it is seen these days. Some days it literally pervades the atmosphere in the courtroom.

In short, I created coaching to help people and not to put anything even remotely amounting to a substantial amount of money in my pocket. Certainly I'm no saint, I still have to charge for what I do or frankly I won't be eating or I'll be freezing during the winter.

Yet, divorce in our economy right now appears to be on the rise and while I certainly won't profess that in any way I stop it from happening, I felt I had to do something with my skills to make it easier.

So Rhode Island Divorce Coaching was created by me as a solo practicing Rhode Island lawyer. I focus my entire practice on divorce and family law but I will certainly tell you that my mother raised me well. She raised me to help others when I can, to fight against what's wrong without violence, and to do what is right when I can.

So here I am doing what I can. I'm not in a position to represent people or coach for free but I'm doing what I can. When people come to me for representation I may do so, but if I feel that there is any chance that they can properly make it through their divorce using my coaching sessions, then I explain the difference and recommend the coaching when appropriate.

One Rhode Island Divorce Coaching session is only $135. I provide a full hour of time. During your session I learn about you, your marriage, your family, your assets, your debts, your income, your education and factors in your family that may be considered in a divorce. I also the take time to explain to you important aspects of Rhode Island Divorce Process and it's Procedures, important Rhode Island Divorce laws (aka RI Domestic Relations Laws); uncontested divorce proceedings, contested divorce proceedings, the different things the Family Court will want to hear about and what you should discuss with your spouse and answers to your most important questions and concerns. Lastly, I help you determine whether you truly need a lawyer to represent you or not and discover what might work best for you based upon your personality and what we have discussed during our confidential coaching session.

That's quite a bit to cover for only $135. One kind woman came to me for a single session after going through three (3) lawyers, over an eight (8) month period of time to the tune of about $7,500 and had this nice statement to make about my service.

"I wish I had found you sooner Chris. It's sad to find out that what I learned from you in one hour was more than I learned from all my the other attorneys I hired for the past 8 months."

This was perhaps the best unsolicited testimonial I could have ever received. For sake of confidentiality and privacy I do not reveal the names of my clients with testimonials because I work with them in the background and I respect their privacy. However, I can state without hesitation that this is a verbatim quote from an actual client.

Many clients have represented similar sentiments, compliments and testimonials.

Imagine how much help I can be to you and the damage I might prevent if you met with me just one time. Isn't it worth $135.00 to be informed about what happens, be prepared for what might come, and peal away the veil of mystery that causes the fear and anxiety associated with divorce proceedings.

I'm just a call away and I look forward to helping you!

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2000 to Present. Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

Note: If this article contains a case scenario with names, dates or amounts, any resemblance any connection to any person or situation now or previously existing is purely accidental, unintentional, and is merely a mistaken creation in the mind of the reader.

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law. The court does not license or certify any lawyer as an expert or specialist in any particular field of practice.

- - Recommended Websites - -

A Quick Tip for Men to Avoid a Divorce and Save Their Marriages - "Listen"

By Rhode Island Divorce Coach on July 10, 2011 6:55 AM | 0 Comments | 1 TrackBack

Too many divorces result from one or more major factors. Whether you suspect a divorce is imminent in your marriage or not, one factor that keeps most marriages together is "Listening."

Many divorces result from numerous factors. However, female clients report mostly circumstances which show that their husbands failed to truly "listen to them."

While it may be true that it's a big jump for the lack of listening to cause a divorce because a man failed to listen, many men don't understand that listening is crucial for relationships, especially good marriages.

Keep in mind that listening doesn't involve merely being present and have two ears men. If you think you're doing your job by just doing those two things, the likelihood is that you could be throwing your relationship with your wife right out the door because you remain ignorant of what it means to "Listen" to your wife.

You may take this for what it's worth, but I have a fantastic relationship with my wife Cindy. The biggest factor is that I strive to "listen" more than I talk AND to do it properly.

So what is your quick tip? Listen to your wife and do it properly! Most therapeutic professionals do it all the time. It is usually referred to as "Active Listening."

So how do you listen properly? Follow these factors for listening and you are on your way:

1. Be attentive when your wife is speaking to you by avoiding doing other things and give your wife your full and complete attention.

2. Make eye contact and give acknowledgment. If you sitting in silence and say nothing, look bored, look in another direction, peek at your watch, don't make eye contact, don't make any sounds and don't even look like you are the slightest bit interested in what she is saying to you then you are blowing it!

3. Be attentive for as long as your wife needs to talk. Why? Because for the most part I have learned that spouses need to talk in order to feel better or to share with their spouse what is going on inside them. It is only once you do this completely that your wife feels as though you "listened" to her. It is only then that she feels as though you truly heard heard her.

4. Acknowledge your wife even if it is in small ways such as statements such as "You are kidding me." or , "That's awful." or, head knods or shaking your head or widening your eyes in disbelief. Your wife needs to know you are not only listening but that you have heard her and this shows her how much SHE MATTERS to you!

5. Don't interrupt your wife even if it sounds to you as though you are being accused of something.

6. Don't get defensive so that all you want to do is refute what she has to say. Your wife is telling you how she is feeling at that moment. She needs to be listened to and she needs to be heard. Men are very literal and we get offended too easily. Often times a woman might say something that means one thing to her but when taken literally means something totally different to you as a man and husband. You as the husband need not have enough self control to listen and do so actively. It may take you extra effort not to feel offended or blamed in your marriage, but reacting and responding before your wife has had a chance to finish may only lead to disaster and divorce.

Keep in mind, if you don't actively listen to her attentively without interruption, judgment, retort, attacking her, defending yourself or allowing her to finish, then you have "blown it." You need to actively listen from beginning to end for her to feel listened to.

I still "screw up" several times per month and interrupt, get defensive, fail to listen actively and respond appropriately to my wife. It is during those times that our relationship is angry and uncomfortable and I feel distant from my wife who is also my best friend. It is during those time that I feel most alone as a husband. It is far from a good feeling if you truly love your wife as I do.

Chances are I will never be perfect at this, but I get better each month and after 12 years I am truly "in love with my wife" as if it were our very first day together.

Can women do things as well? Absolutely! But that is a marriage saving article for another day.

If you truly love your wife, care about your marriage, and don't want to end up in divorce fellow men then I hope you take this article to heart. For all the divorces I've helped to complete because it was just too late, I hope I can help as many marriages survive.

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Visit the RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Experience the Difference!

Copyright 2000 to Present. Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
Offering Rhode Island Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

- - Recommended Websites - -

A Lawyer who hates Lawyers? What is this Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer saying?

By Rhode Island Divorce Coach on July 6, 2010 7:42 PM | 0 Comments | 0 TrackBacks

As a Rhode Island lawyer focusing my practice mostly on divorce coaching these days I look back upon a man who said something to me privately decades ago that perplexed me. This man had been practicing in another state for some 40+ years.

This man was about as true, honorable and generous a gentleman as I have ever met. He embodied everything that I saw in a good lawyer. He truly cared about his clients. He fought for each one of them. Yet he did so within the bounds of the law, within the bounds of his professional ethical code, and with a high degree of morality such as I have never seen before. The lawyer knew that I admired him and had great respect for him as both a person and as a lawyer.

One extremely hot Tuesday afternoon this rather portly lawyer returned to his office after losing a district court hearing. He plopped himself down in the chair at the opposite end of the short conference room table I was sitting at in the office law library. His secretary nervously brought him a lemonade and napkin then quickly skirted out of the room. There was silence. It seemed to go on forever. Finally, I said, "I'm considering becoming a lawyer."

It lasted perhaps two seconds but it seemed like an eternity. The lawyer lifted his partially balding forehead, wiped his brow with the napkin then grabbed a nearby law book and flung it across his small law library. The book smashed against a row of New Hampshire Statutes Annotated. I heard the spine of the hardcover book tear slightly as it fell to the floor.

It was one of the first times I had ever seen this man so angry and upset.

I was quiet. Perhaps my timing was off. This time I kept my big mouth shut and waited until the lawyer spoke. This is what he said.

Lawyer: [Very Loudly though not Shouting] "I HATE LAWYERS!

This time the pause was endless and it seemed very clear the lawyer wasn't going to say anything else. So, I took a chance. I was just too puzzled not to speak.

Chris: "I don't understand. You are a lawyer."

He was quiet for another period of time. I took a chance and asked my question.

Chris: "How can you hate lawyers when you are one? I don't get it."

He waited quite awhile before speaking. I was thankful that there wasn't another hardcover book within the lawyer's reach.

Lawyer: [ A bit calmer . . ] I can't explain it. You have to live it. But I tell you Chris, if you're anything like me you'll know what I mean when you get there.

That was it. The conversation never went further. It was never brought up again to this date.

I've been working in the legal field now for more than 20 years after that conversation.

As a Rhode Island lawyer I am bound by a Professional Code of Ethical Conduct and Rules of Conduct. To some extent there are things that I can say and things, things I shouldn't say and things I am prohibited either from saying or doing. Some of them might amaze the layperson. I know they amaze me. Morality and Personal Professional Ethics are another ball of wax that are completely different.

The lawyer's name (for lack of a better one just as a point of reference) was Roger.

Hopefully he's still alive and hopefully he is in tune enough with today's "internet" that he reads this article.

So after all the years that have passed I would like to address one statement to this great lawyer and then another one to you as my reader.

First, to this great lawyer.

Roger, I went down the path. Just as you thought, I was very much like you. Thank you for your wisdom. Just as you thought, I understand.

Now, to my readers I offer this.

If you have read my message to Roger then you may not understand the statement I make now until you meet with me.

"If you need a lawyer and you happen to like lawyers then chances are . . you won't like me."

With that said, I can tell you that as a Rhode Island Lawyer who has focused my practice exclusively in the area of divorce and family law, I can't make your problems go away. They are your problems and only you can take responsibility for them and only you have the power to resolve them in your life by your own decisions.

What I can tell you is that I can help you understand and to get through your Rhode Island divorce and family law challenges by working with you as your Coach or by working for you through Representation.

Roger's words were invaluable. Today, they are the powerful force motivating the continued growth of your coaching program. It is a your program specifically because it is designed for you. It is designed to teach you, train you, inform you, and save you time and money in the areas of divorce and family law.

As Your Coaching Program continues to evolve, it will continue to work faster for you, become more economical than it already is for you, become more helpful than it already is for everyone.

Whatever you choose to believe, there is one thing you can know with certainty. I am one lawyer trying to make a difference with a new and innovative way of practice designed by my sacrifices and your willingness to be open to something new that works.

What can Your Coaching Program Help You With?

Rhode Island Divorces & Legal Separations

Rhode Island Child Support Establishment, Modification, Collection and Termination

Rhode Island Child Custody and Child Custody Modifications

Rhode Island Petitions to Enforced Marital or Property Settlement Agreements

Preparing Pre-Nuptual Agreements and Ante-Nuptual Agreements

Petitions to Move Out of State with Minor Children

Rhode Island Motions to Modify Child Support

Petitions to Establish Paternity

Motions to Adjudge In Contempt and Defense of Contempt

Protection from Abuse Petitions and Defense Against Such Petitions

Rhode Island Motions and Petitions to Establish, Modify or Terminate Visitation

RI Common Law Divorces and their Defense

Rhode Island Legal Rights

2nd Opinions on Rhode Island Family Law Cases

and many more . . .

Look for my testimonials section coming soon! Call for a low-cost Coaching Session!

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Divorce and Family Law Coach!!

Discover the Tremendous Benefits You Receive by

Participating in Family Law Coaching Sessions!

Go to RhodeIslandDivorceCoach.com

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
to
Schedule Your Low-Cost Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session!

Copyright 2009 to Present. Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
Offering Divorce and Family Law Coaching for a New Millenium!

* Rhode Island licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.

- - Recommended Websites - -

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Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Coaches People to Help Parties Avoid Divorce Conflict!

A Quick Tip for Men to Avoid a Divorce and Save Their Marriages - "Listen"

A Lawyer who hates Lawyers? What is this Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer saying?

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Recently in Divorce & Counseling Category

Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer Coaches People to Help Parties Avoid Divorce Conflict!

A Quick Tip for Men to Avoid a Divorce and Save Their Marriages - "Listen"

A Lawyer who hates Lawyers? What is this Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer saying?

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