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Many things can prevent a Rhode Island Divorce Case from settling.  In fact, while I cannot speak for all attorneys in other states I tend to believe that people and attorneys do not differ that much from state to state.  With that in mind, these may be the top two things that prevent divorces from settling on a national basis.


* * * The 2nd Greatest Thing that Prevents Divorce Settlements * * *


In my Rhode Island divorce practice, experience has taught me that "anger" is the second greatest contributor to the inability of parties, with or without attorneys, to reach a reasonable settlement in a divorce.


While divorce often evokes a plethora of emotions in one or both parties in a marriage, none seem as prominent or as powerful to delay and prolong the resolution of the divorce as "anger."  The anger may stem from any number of things ranging from a suddenly discovered long-term affair to a drug or gambling addiction and more.   As a divorce attorney I leave the treatment of a parties' anger to psychologists and therapists better equipped to address and treat its source and help divorcing parties deal with their mental and emotional dilemmas.


However, there is no doubt that as a divorce lawyer, I (and my colleagues) deal with the effects that the anger of either party has on the divorce proceeding.  These effects range from emotion filled meetings with angry clients who feel cheated and betrayed by their spouse to the vindictive decisions or actions of an opposing spouse with an outright desire to injure the other spouse emotionally or even physically.  


Divorce settlements are often prevented by the anger of one spouse at the other spouse.  Usually this takes the form of one or both spouses making demands in the settlement of their marriage that in some way justify the party's feelings or otherwise vindicate the spouse in some way by gaining more in the way of an apportionment of assets or less in the way of an assignment of marital debt.  Simply put this becomes a matter of getting something that makes the spouse feel that he or she "won" in some way over the other spouse.


In truth, there are no real winners in such a situation.  The anger merely costs the parties more physical, mental and emotional turmoil than is necessary and the attorneys make more money while the parties have less money in the end for their own needs.  


Even if one party views the divorce trial or settlement as a "win", it is merely an illusion.  No one wins in a divorce.  The only way to truly win is to resolve the issues you have at present and move on to a new and different future without the other person as your spouse.



* * *  The Greatest Thing that Prevents Divorce Settlements * * * 

Though there are many who may disagree with my conclusion that "making the wrong choice of divorce lawyer" is certainly not the greatest thing that prevents divorce settlements, I leave those persons to their opinion and remain steadfast in my belief that divorce lawyers are often the greatest impediment to preventing divorce settlements.


Having practiced almost exclusively as a Rhode Island divorce and family law attorney for nearly a decade I have had the opportunity to oppose countless attorneys who have represented the opposing spouse.  From the outset of my practice I noted a distinct pattern and made it a practice to listen more than I spoke, it is this practice and skill that has served me best in my divorce and family law practice.  


I have gained my most valuable knowledge by listening to divorce attorneys I have opposed in court as well as listening to others while walking through the halls of the family courts or waiting to be heard in the courtrooms.


Some Rhode Island divorce lawyers, though certainly not all, do not share my "families first" philosophy.  Clients should keep in mind that there are those attorneys who see clients merely as a paycheck.  If you were a divorce attorney with heavy personal financial burdens or with a substantial desire for increased monetary rewards and you knew that your income was dependent upon the number of clients who hire you each year and how much you earn from those clients, what might you do?


Consider each of these questions and answer them for yourself.


If your divorce case lasts longer, couldn't a divorce attorney justify earning more from your case?


If you are upset about your divorce, couldn't a Rhode Island divorce attorney aggravate what is upsetting you in order to make it more difficult and take longer to set up your case?


If your divorce attorney knows that to make his or her desired income he or she must represent X number of divorce clients each year and make $5,000 on each client, is it more likely or less likely that your divorce attorney will counsel you to agree to a reasonable settlement of your case within the first three weeks of your case?


You may draw your own conclusions.  For my part, virtually every case that I have been unable to reasonably settle within a reasonable period of time before both my client and the opposing spouse are injured by the financial burdens associated with divorce litigation have been prevented by attorneys who have placed their own interests before that of their clients.  Some of those attorneys even have an underhanded pattern of doing so such that I now warn my clients of what we are up against before we proceed further.  Attorneys who act in this way do a disservice to the legal profession and an even greater disservice to their own client.


Rhode Island divorce attorneys who act in this way are a greater prevention to the settlement of divorce cases because emotion is not intentional and can be countered by the reasonableness of a good divorce lawyer who cares about the client and places the client's interests first.  However, the intentional actions of a lawyer with his or her own interests placed before those of the client in every sense (mentally, emotionally, physically or financially), can sometimes not be prevented even by the most skilled opposing practitioner.


Ultimately, if you have significant anger regarding your divorce, it is always advisable to seek the assistance of a counselor even if you do not believe your anger is affecting your judgment.  Often, anger does, in fact, affect judgment in divorce cases to a person's detriment.  


Additionally, be aware of what your attorney is doing in your case and remain active in your communications with your attorney.  Most cases are capable of being resolved within three (3) months if the parties and attorneys act in a reasonable manner.  If it takes longer than this, speak with your attorney, speak with your spouse and if necessary, speak with your individual counselor.  You may discover that what you think is happening in your divorce case as represented by your attorney is much different than what is actually occurring.


In any divorce, be aware of your emotional state and be aware of your case and your divorce attorney's conduct.  In the end, both will serve you well in resolving your Rhode Island divorce case.

 

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
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The Rhode Island Divorce Coach Responds about Angry Client and their Family!

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As a Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer I have had the privilege of representing many men and women before the Family Courts of our state.   I have taken pride in the oath I took the day I was sworn in as an officer of the court and afforded the privilege of practicing law and representing people in the courts of our state honorably, morally and ethically.

On September 10, 2009, I woke up and discovered a posting in the legal section of  Craig'sList.org.  The posting about me as Rhode Island's Most Affordable Divorce Lawyer looked exactly like this.

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ATTORNEY CHRIS PEARSALL (RIS MOST AFFORDABLE FAMILY ATTY) IS A THIEF!! (RI)

Date: 2009-09-09, 10:27AM EDT
Reply to: serv-3qan4-1365594341@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


He took literally thousands of dollars from my sister and my family and did NOTHING for her!!! 

She went to him desperate for legal help and he robbed her! 

SHOULD HAVE JUST HELD A GUN TO US CHRIS! 

KARMA IS A BITCH AND HOPEFULLY IT WILL FIND YOU!! 

STAY AWAY FROM THIS THIEF!!! 

----------------------------------

Due to Attorney/Client privilege and the importance of that privacy I cannot and will not address the circumstances surrounding this family law case.

For those who know me, or take the time to know me, they know that this disgruntled person's statement is not (nor could it ever be) the truth.

I started out in my 20's in a Catholic Seminary in Upstate New York.  I spent most of my days in classes, most of my weekends helping in nursing homes, working with handicapped individuals, acting as a Big Brother and working to keep kids off the street by working in the Boys Club of America Programs to keep kids out of drugs and gangs and get them off the street.

I left the seminary even after being asked to stay by the seminary director.  This was a personal choice because, among other things, I realized I wanted to be a father and have children of my own some day.  Yet those earlier years have formed me in to the gentleman and caring person I am today.  Sometimes I have been too caring, so much so that the amount of unpaid legal work I have done for people far exceeds the income I have earned in any given year.

Contrary to what people may think, all lawyers are not overpriced and ready to line their pockets with your hard earned money.  There are a good many of us who care about our clients, undercharge our clients and some of us who simply are never paid by our clients.  I have seen good lawyers go bankrupt or end up in divorce court because they won't take client's to court to collect the fees for their services and their spouses just don't agree with that level of generosity or believe in the goodness of human nature.

I have no desire to attack the individual who wrote the Craig'sList posting.  However, I do believe it is important to address misunderstandings that client's develop because they sometimes do not hear what is said or interpret  an optimistic approach to a case as if it is a guarantee of a result they are looking for.

Lawyers cannot guarantee a result in any judicial proceeding.  I have never guaranteed a result with any client nor will I ever do so because it is not morally right to guarantee anything that is not within my control.

As clients, you engage attorneys with the goal that the attorney will undertake work to try to achieve a certain result for you if it is possible.  Even if the goal is not achieved (or cannot be achieved), when the lawyer has done the work and you have agreed to compensate the lawyer, then the lawyer is entitled to be compensated.  

Consider this Analogy!

Imagine that you work in an automotive garage as a mechanic.  You get paid when you do the work on the cars.  Your job is to try to repair the cars and trucks that come in to the shop all week long.  Some cars simply cannot be repaired either due to a lack of available parts or a broken chassis system, etc....  

One day a lady comes in with her brother.  There is a clunking noise in the car after the last mechanic at another shop did his best to fix the car.  The lady wants this car to be fixed and she just can't be without "this" car for sentimental reasons.  The lady pre-authorizes you to work up to 20 hours on her car.

As the mechanic you are entrusted to try to fix the lady's car by process of elimination to find out what the clunking noise is in the car and try to fix it.

First, you let the customer know what you think the most likely approach is. Then, you take your time and effort to work on the car while the customer waits for your call at home.  

Let's say that you do four (4) hours of work but the clunking sound is still there.  You let the customer know that the first approach didn't work so you are going to take your approach and you let the customer know about it.  You call the lady to let her know you are going to try the next thing you believe may be causing the clunking sound and that you'll go about approaching it that way.  

After the customer is informed and you go ahead and try the second approach.  Another day later the car has had two days worth of work put into it but the clunking noise is still present. This goes on for another few days as you try several more approaches and get deeper and deeper into the car.  You need four (4) parts for one of the repairs but the lady can only afford two (2) parts so you have to do your best with two (2) instead of all four (4) that you believe are needed.   During all this time the customer has left the car with you and hasn't come back in because you haven't told her that you've fixed her car.  

Finally, after 20 hours of work you realize see a small crack in the frame of the car in a very bad location.  The car cannot be fixed so that it is driveable again.  You explain that it might have been fixable by the first mechanic but it is too late at this point.  The lady is aware of the bad news.
 
Even though you have put 20 hours of work into the car and you are able to show the lady a detailed bill . . . the lady does not believe that you worked on the car for 20 hours and she wants her money back and doesn't  believe you should be paid  because you didn't do anything for her.

If you were the mechanic who did the 20 hours of work, should you still be paid for your time and skill trying to repair a car that you discovered could not be repaired?   As a mechanic should you only get paid if you were able to fix the car to the lady's satisfaction?  

Mechanics don't get paid only if they get the result you want, they get paid for their skill and the work they do.  Do you see everything they did?  Of course not.  Would it be fair to the mechanic to deprive him of the compensation for his work just because you didn't see it?  Once again the answer is obvious....of course not.

Now imagine that the lady and her family are very upset about the lady losing her sentimental car because the mechanic couldn't fix the car.   So they tell everyone that the mechanic and his garage are a bunch of thieves and crooks.   

Should it be any different for a family lawyer or any other lawyer for that matter?  It shouldn't, right! 

As most business people do, I've had a few clients who were not happy about the results.  The client wanted certain results and didn't get them.  Voila' . . .  unhappy client!  As unfortunate as it is, I have found that the typical response seems to be that as a lawyer out to screw everyone over it must be my fault.  

I've had more than my share of sleepless nights preparing for hearings and trials that meant a lot to my client and consequently to me as well.  When I'm unable to achieve the results my client wants I'm disappointed as well.  Happy clients are more likely to believe I am effective lawyer and refer people to me, it makes no sense in a small state such as Rhode Island that I would not do any work and keep someone's money.

I am and always have been an advocate for changing the attitude toward lawyers in Rhode Island by my actions and by my law practice so that people see that there are attorneys who are caring, have moral standards aren't interested in doing anything other than helping their clients to the best of their ability.

I am sorry that the person who wrote the posting on Craig's List finds the need to hurt me and my business when I truly do so much good for people in the area of family law.  

If you are a client who is angry with your attorney either about the result or about your bill, please speak with your attorney directly, consider the analogy above, and re-think things before acting rashly.

My Best to Everyone in Your Family Law Matters,

Attorney_Pearsall_Signature.jpg
Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law
Rhode Island Divorce and Family Law Coach*

Authored By:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Attorney-at-Law

Rhode Island's Most Affordable Full-Time Divorce* Lawyer is Now
Rhode Island's Only Full-Time Divorce Coach
!!

Call (401) 632-6976 Now
and
Schedule Your Rhode Island Divorce* or Family Law* Coaching Session Now!

Copyright 2009.  Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
A New Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer and Coach for a New Millenium!

* Rhode Island licenses all attorneys in the general practice of law.

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